Laverne and Shirley Meet Lucy and Ethel
by S. Wilhelmina Feenster
Summary: Here's a story about what would happen if Laverne and Shirley met Lucy and Ethel.


Laverne and Shirley Fan Fiction: Laverne and Shirley Meet Lucy and Ethel

**Laverne and Shirley Meet Lucy and Ethel  
by S. Wilhelmina Feenster a.k.a. Feenster Girl**

Opening Scene[Laverne and Shirley's Apartment in California]

Shirley is in the kitchen pouring herself a glass of orange juice. She is wearing a tasteful short dress with black heeled shoes.

Shirley: Laverne! Come on, the tour bus does not take role call.

Laverne comes out of the bedroom wearing a white mini-skirt and a red blouse with white heeled shoes.

Laverne:(walking down the stairs and carrying her favorite blue purse) I'm ready to go.

Shirley:(shakes her head) Not in that you're not.

Laverne: What's wrong with it?

Shirley: Where did you buy, Laverne? SMUTS R' US? Go back upstairs and change.

Laverne: Shirley, the bus arrives at 10:00 and it's a quarter of ten, right now.

Shirley:(looks at her watch) Holy Limabeans, you're right!

Rhonda:(coming through the back door) Hi-ho, neighbors.

Laverne: Sorry, Rhonda, can't talk now, we're late. 

Shirley: Bye, Rhonda. (They went out the door.)

Rhonda: Rhonda just wanted to borrow some honey.(she grabs some honey out of the cabanet and walks out the door.) I'm coming Hank. Rhonda's got the honey.

Scene 2 [On the bus]

Laverne is sitting near the window and Shirley is next to her.

Laverne: I don't know why you couldn't have let me sit on the outside and you sit at the window.

Shirley: I already told you, Laverne. Everyone on the bus is here to see the movie stars' homes... not the lining of your panty hose.

Laverne: I'm not wearing panty hose.

Shirley: I rest my case.

Tour Guide "Brad": Welcome to Hollywood Tours. I will be your tour guide, (points to his name tag) Brad. I'll take you on a trip to the stars...homes that is. Any questions before we start?

Laverne: (raises her hand) Yeah. Do you want my phone number?

Shirley: Laverne!

Brad: (smiling) Talk to me later. (Laverne nodded) To your right you'll see the home of Troy Donahue.

Laverne: (standing) We did a movie with him. He kissed us.

Shirley: (agreeing) He did.

Laverne: In the movie we said, WONGA, WONGA, WONGA!

Brad: Could you sit down, please? (Laverne sat down) Next we come to the house of Audrey Hepburn.

Laverne: She's so pretty. I loved her in "Breakfast At Tiffany's."

Shirley: (leaning over) Laverne, I think I see her.

Laverne: (looks out the window) Where?

Shirley: (leaning back in her seat) No, I think that was her maid.

Laverne: I've never seen a real maid before. (looks out the window) Oh, she's wearing a black dress with a white apron and one of those little white hats. (looks at Shirley) Just like in Alfred Hitchcock.

Brad: Allow me to continue. (brief pause) Here's one of my personal favorites. The house of Mr. Charles Grodin. As you can see...

Laverne: Hey, we met him too. He came to our apartment and sat on our furniture.

Shirley: That's true. (looks at Laverne) What's the matter with you? Do you want us to get kicked off this bus?

Laverne: No, but it's interesting facts.

Brad: To your left, is the house of Mr. Ed.

Laverne: (standing up) Mr. Ed! 

Brad: Don't tell me, you met him in your backyard, right?

Laverne: No, I just could see nothin'.

Brad: (irritantly) How about I strap you to the top? Sit down!

Scene 3 [The Brown Derby]

Laverne and Shirley are sitting in a booth. A waiter comes to their table and hands them a menu.

Shirley: Will you look at these prices?!

Laverne: Yeah, and that's just the appetizers.

Waiter: May I take your order?

Shirley: Well, I think I'll have an oatmeal, please.

Laverne: I'll have a milk and pepsi.

Waiter: May I recommend this item. (points to the menu)

Laverne: What is it?

Shirley: Laverne!(to the waiter) We'll just have a salad, thank you. (the waiter takes their menu and leaves) You know, Laverne, I don't know why you had to get us thrown off that bus.

Laverne: He didn't throw us in the gutter, Shirl. He dropped us off here, at the "Brown Derby."

Shirley: The most expensive place in Hollywood.

Laverne: We were hungry. You didn't pack us a lunch.

Shirley: I'm sorry. Boo Boo Kitty was ill. You're lucky I even came, even though I wish I hadn't.

Laverne: You know, Shirl, I'm going to enjoy my day. It's not everyday we get to dine at the "Brown Derby." I read that Paul Newman dines here every week.

Shirley:(dreamingly) Paul Newman? Oh, Laverne, he's so handsome. To think, I'm in the restaurant were he dines. We might even be in his booth.

Speaker: Will Rock Hudson please report to the Reservation Desk.

Laverne: Rock Hudson, where?!

Shirley: (looks around) I don't see him, Laverne.

Laverne: Boy, we really got thrown into a gold mine, Shirl. Gorgeous men. everywhere.

Lucy and Ethel walked through the door.

Lucy: Come on, Ethel, let's take our seat. (looks around) There. (she points to the booth near the salad bar) We can see everything from here.

Ethel: Okay. (they sit down) I just want to eat.

Lucy: I know, me too.

A waiter came by and handed them a menu.

Waiter: Are you ready to order?

Lucy: Yes. (looks at the menu) I think I'll have the chicken.

Ethel: That sounds good, I'll have the chicken too.

Waiter: All right. I'll be back with your order shortly.

He takes their menus. Fabian walks in and takes a seat in front of Lucy and Ethel.

Lucy: (in shock) Ethel, don't look now, but Fabian is right behind you. (Ethel turns around and gasps) He's so dreamy. (brief pause) Ethel, switch seats with me. I want to be near him.

Ethel: (she switches with Lucy) Now, I get to look at him. (sigh) He's a dreamboat.

Lucy: Isn't he?

[Laverne and Shirley]

Shirley: Laverne, it's Fabian!

Laverne: Where?

Shirley: Two tables away! Oh,oh,oh, Laverne. We must say hello. (gets up out of the booth) I'll go say hello. (she walks over to his table) Hello, Fabian, remember me? (he looks up) Shirley Feeney?

Fabian: (smiling) Of course, I remember you. You were the only two fans that ever stood outside, on the ledge, of my hotel room.

Shirley: Yes, oh, yes, we love you very much.

Fabian: Do you want to join me?

Shirley: Join you? Oh, we'd love to. (motions for Laverne to come over)

Laverne: (walks over) Hi.

Fabian: Well, girls, you can have a seat. (they took a seat on each side of him) Are you coming to my next concert?

Shirley: It's sold out.

Laverne: Yeah, we tried.

Fabian: Here. I'll give you each backstage passes again. Maybe you could even have dinner with me before the concert.

Shirley: Oh, we'd love that.

[Lucy and Ethel]

Lucy: I wonder who those two girls were sitting with Fabian.

The waiter brought their food.

Ethel: I don't care, I'm hungry.

Ethel started eating her food.

Shirley: (to Fabian) Will you excuse me? I have to go to the powder room. (to Laverne) Do you care to join me, Laverne?

Laverne: (drooling over Fabian) Well... (Shirley kicks her underneath the table)...Okay.

The girls go to the powder room. Lucy sees them go and gets curious. 

Lucy: Come on, Ethel.

Ethel: Where are we going?

Lucy: To the powder room. (she pulls Ethel up)

Ethel: If this is another one of your hair brained schemes, then count me out.

Lucy: Oh, Ethel. (sits back down) Aren't you the least bit curious about those girls? Why were they with Fabian?

Ethel: Stop asking so many questions and let me eat. My mashed potatos are getting cold.

Lucy: Is that all you can think about at a time like this, food?

Ethel: When it comes to you and your hair brained schemes, yes.

Scene 4 [The Powder Room]

Laverne and Shirley are looking at themselves in the mirror and fixing their hair and makeup.

Shirley: I can't beleive that we are eating dinner with Fabian at The Brown Derby.

Laverne: And just yesterday we were cappin' bottles and livin' in a cellar.

Shirley: Yeah. I told you that one day we would be dining with the rich and famous.

Laverne: Yeah. That balloon never lands.

Shirley: Just think, Laverne, if we hadn't been fired from the brewery, then we would've never left Milwaukee.

Laverne: (in a trance) No gorgeous men.

Shirley: No Fabian. Laverne, please. We've been handed an engine in the row boat of life.

Laverne: No sunshine year round.

Shirley: You see, Laverne? We did it. We made our dreams come true...for me and you.

Laverne: All right, Shirl. We better get back out there before our boat floats away.

Shirley: You're right.

Scene 5 [The Lobby]

Laverne and Shirley came out of the powder room and Fabian was waiting in the lobby.

Shirley: (looking at Fabian's empty table) Laverne, he's gone. 

Fabian: Girls! (he waves)

Laverne: (smiling and flirting) Hi, are you leaving?

Fabian: I have to wake up early tomorrow. I'm recording "Turn Me Loose." Then I'm going to meet my agent and manager for lunch.

Laverne: Are you doing anything tomorrow night?

Fabian: Well, no.

Laverne: Why don't you come to our place.

Fabian: Well...

Shirley: (smiling) We won't take no for an answer.

Fabian: Okay.

Laverne: I need a piece of paper. Uh, (she picks up someones tab off the table) here we go. [Laverne writes: "113 1/2 Laurel Vista - Burbank, phone #: 555-8484 - ask for Laverne." [end note] There, we'll see you at...

Fabian: 6:30.

Laverne: All right. It's a date.

Laverne and Shirley walked with Fabian out the door.

Fabian: Do you have a way home?

Shirley: We could take a tax... (Laverne hits her in the stomach)

Laverne: No, we don't

Fabian: I'll take you home in my limo.

Shirley: (holding her stomach) Oh, thank you, Fabian.

Fabian: Don't mention it. Anything for my two favorite fans.

Laverne: (to Shirley) We're his favorites.

Scene 6 [The Limo] 

Laverne gets into the limo first. Shirley stands with her arms folded.

Shirley: I'm not sitting in the middle, Laverne.

Laverne: Okay, I will.

They switched places.

Shirley: Hold it, hold it, hold it! Laverne, this isn't going to work. Now I'M not sitting next to Fabian, you are.

Laverne: Yeah, I like it that way.

Shirley: But I want to sit next to Fabian too, Laverne.

Laverne: You can sit next to Fabian at home, Shirl. You sleep with his picture.

Shirley: It's not the same, Laverne.

Laverne: Neither will your face.. when I get through rearranging it.

Fabian: Girls, how about I sit in the middle?

Shirley: Well, that will work out just fine, thank you.

Fabian got into the limo and slid next to Laverne. Shirley followed.

Fabian: Is this better?

Laverne and Shirley: Yes.

The chauffeur closed the door and the inside was dark. Laverne cuddled close to Fabian.

Fabian: Do you girls still live in Milwaukee?

Laverne: No, we moved here.

Fabian: Oh.

Laverne: We were fired from our jobs at the brewery.

Shirley: You see, Mr. Shotz, our boss, bought the "XJ762." The machine that makes bottle capping easy.

Laverne: And that's how we were fired.

Fabian: Oh, I'm sorry.

Laverne: Yeah, we work at Bardwell's Department Store, in Burbank, now.

Fabian: Do you dine at "The Brown Derby" offen?

Shirley: Well, actually...

Laverne: ...Every weekend.

Fabian: Really. How do you like California?

Laverne: It's great. Sunshine everyday, freshly squeezed orange juice in the mornings, and the beach.

Scene 7 [The Powder room]

Lucy and Ethel walk in there and check under all the stalls.

Lucy: They're gone, darnit.

Ethel: Good, let's go back to the hotel.

Lucy: Well, I guess you're right. No sense... (she notices a set of keys sitting on the sink and picks them up) Look, Ethel.

Ethel: What?

Lucy: These keys, Ethel. They must belong to one of those girls.

Ethel: Those keys could belong to any girl.

Lucy: (she sees a tag attached) No, Ethel. There's a name attached to them.

Ethel: A name? Who would put a name tag on a set of keys?

Lucy: Shirley W. Feeney. (brief pause) Ethel, doesn't that name sound familiar?

Ethel: Yeah, but since when did you become Sherlock Holmes?

Lucy: That was one of the girls sitting behind us. [reads the tag] "If lost, please return to: 113 1/2 Laural Vista, Burbank, California. Thank You." [end note] Come on, Wastson.

Ethel: To the hotel, I hope.

Lucy: No, Ethel. We are going to Shirley's house.

Ethel: What? Lucy, what will Ricky say when he finds out you're not home.

Lucy: We'll think about that later...when he has both of his hands around our necks.

Ethel: Lucy, I don't like this.

Lucy: Don't worry, Ethel. We'll be back at the hotel before Ricky gets home from the studio. (Ethel shakes her head) All right, Ethel. If Ricky gets home, then I'll grab little Ricky and hand him to you. He would never hurt you with a baby in your arms.

Ethel: Well...okay.

Lucy: Good! Burbank, here we come!

Scene 8 [Outside Laverne and Shirley's apartment]

The limo stops in front of their apartment, the chauffeur gets out of the car, and opens up their door.

Fabian: Well, I'll see you girls.

Laverne: Tomorrow?

Fabian: Friday night.

Laverne: But I thought you said tomorrow night.

Fabian: I did.

Shirley: Well, what's the matter, Fabian? Did we do something wrong?

Fabian: Oh, no.

Laverne: Then, what?

Fabian: Tomorrow is Friday night. (he flashed a smile)

Shirley: (exhaling) Oh, Fabian.

Laverne: We'll see you Friday night.

(Laverne winked at Fabian)

Fabian: You can kiss me goodnight if you want, girls.

Laverne and Shirley kissed him on the cheek.

Shirley: Goodnight, Fabian.

(Shirley got out of the limo. Laverne stayed in the limo and kissed Fabian passionately on the lips

Fabian: Wow! Goodnight, Laverne. (she got out) Wait! How about we move the dinner date to 6:00pm. 

Laverne: Well, that's kind of hard considering we get off work at 6:00pm.

Fabian: Oh.

Laverne: You know, I could skip work tomorrow and be with you all day. We could go on a picnic, to the beach, the back seat of your limo...

fabian: 6:30pm. I'll see you, Laverne.

The chauffeur shut the door. Laverne and Shirley waved and went to their apartment.

Scene 9 [In Lucy and Ethel's Blue Cadillac convertible]

Lucy and Ethel are driving around.

Ethel: Lucy, it's getting late. (looks at her watch) It's 9:00pm. I want to go home and go to bed.

Lucy: You're right, Ethel. We'll come back tomorrow. I'll tell Ricky that we're going shopping.

Lucy turned the car around and they went back to the hotel. Meanwhile, Laverne and Shirley were getting ready for bed.

Shirley: (from the bathroom) Can you believe it, Laverne? We are going on a date with Fabian tomorrow night.

Laverne: Hey Shirl, which dress should I wear tomorrow night? The red one or the blue one.

Shirley: (sticks her hrad out of the bathroom) Uh, the blue one.

Laverne: Oh good, I'll wear the red one.

Shirley: (coming out of the bathroom in her pajamas) Laverne, where's Boo Boo Kitty?

Laverne: I think he's downstairs.

Laverne went into the bathroom and put on her nighties. Shirley made her way downstairs, grabbed Boo Boo Kitty, and marched back upstairs. Shirley climbs into bed with Boo Boo Kitty. Laverne comes out of the bathroom wearing her green jersy. She climbs into bed and turns out the light. They both say goodnight to each other.

Scene 10 [The Next Day - Laverne and Shirley's apartment]

Laverne and Shirley run down the stairs and kiss their card board poster of "The Beatles."

Laverne: Just let me grab my purse.

Laverne opens the closet and gets her purse.

Shirley: Hurry, Laverne. We're running late.

They left.

Rhonda: (coming from to back door) Hi-ho neighbors. (she looks around) Laverne, Shirley, well, I guess they've already left for work. Oh, but that doesn't stop Rhonda. (she looks in the refrigerator and sees a bottle of ketchup, a limon, and a carton of milk)Hmmmm. (she took out the milk) Rhonda's often wondered what Laverne finds so great about milk and pepsi. Well, Rhonda will find out. (she got out a glass and a bottle of pepsi and poured the milk and pepsi together) Okay, here it goes. (she puts the glass to her lips and takes a sip) Yuck! Rhonda likes milk and Rhonda like pepsi, but put them together and it tastes really nasty.

Rhonda dumped out the rest of the drink in the sink and went home.

[The front of Laverne and Shirley's apartment]

Lucy: Are you sure you saw them leave?

Ethel: Yes. They marched out of the building hand in hand chanting something while doing a little jig. Then they ran down the street. (brief pause) Lucy, let's get this over with.

Lucy unlocked the door and looked inside.

Lucy: Oh, Ethel. It's beautiful.

Ethel: (peaking in) Hey, it is beautiful. Let's go home now.

Lucy: Oh, no you don't, Ethel Mertz. Come on. We drove all this way, let's go inside. (to Ethel after she closed the door) Oh look, a sunken living room and an upstairs bedroom..just like on "The Beverly Hillbillies."

Ethel: But, Lucy, there are only 8 steps.

Lucy: I know. (she went into their living room) Oh, and a balcony...just like in Romeo and Juliet. (looks at Ethel) We must go upstairs.

Ethel: But, Lucy...

Lucy: Come on.

She takes Ethel by the hand and drags her upstairs. While they were upstairs, Carmine entered the girls apartment.

Carmine: (humming a tune) Those girls need to learn to lock the door before they go to work. But, just to be safe, I better check upstairs. The girls don't need to come home to a cleaned out apartment.

Carmine started to walk upstairs.

Ethel: Someone's coming.

Lucy: Let's hide in the closet. (she opens the door) We can hide behind all these clothes. (Ethel joined her) Look, Ethel, these clothes have "L's" on them. I'd bet they'd fit me.

Ethel: Yeah, if you had them altered around the hips...another 5 inches.

Lucy: Why, Ethel Mertz! You should talk!

Carmine came into their bedroom and checked around. He looked under their beds, behind their window curtains, in the bathroom, and finally in the closet.

Carmine: (in the closet) Hey, there's Shirley's diary. (he picks it up) so, she hides it in their now. (closes the closet and opens the diary) I wonder what she had to say about our date the other night. (he reads) Oh, I remember that...and I liked that. (reads on) I'll never forget that. (he turns the page) Huh. Dinner with Fabian. Big deal.

Lucy: (whispering to Ethel) Why won't he leave?

Meanwhile, downstairs, Laverne ran through the door covered in peanut butter and jelly and mustard.

Laverne: I'll kill'em! I'll kill'em!!

Shirley followed with ketchup and mayonnaise all over her blazer.

Shirley: Do you know how much money, out of our paychecks, it will cost to get these (blazers) cleaned?

Laverne: I'm going upstairs to murder Lenny and Squiggy!!

Shirley: First, I'm taking off this blazer and hanging it up in the bathroom. 

Laverne: Good idea.

They headed up the stairs. Carmine, still reading Shirley's diary, heard footsteps coming up the stairs. He tossed the diary on Laverne's bed, ran into the closet, and shut the door.

Shirley: (opening the door and shouting) WHEN WILL THOSE BOYS EVER LEARN? I MEAN, WE COULD GET FIRED!!

Laverne and Shirley hung their blazers up in the bathroom. Just as they were leaving, Shirley noticed that her diary was lying on Laverne's bed.

Shirley: Laverne. (already out the door) Would you come here, please?

Shirley picked up the diary and looked at it closely. Laverne came in and stopped in the doorway.

Laverne: What is it, Shirl?

Shirley: My diary. (she holds it up) What is it doing on your bed, Laverne?

Laverne: I don't know. Maybe you layed it there and forgot about it.

Shirley: No, Laverne. I put it in its secret spot.

Laverne:Do you mean in the closet behind your box of "Dale Evans" doodads?

Shirley: It was you. My best friend, my confidant...Laverne, when I said " What's mine is yours and what's yours is mine," I didn't mean my diary. You should know that. I don't know if I'll ever be able to trust you again.

Laverne: Shirley, I didn't do it. (Shirley didn't answer) For one thing, Shirl, do I make my bed?

Shirley: No, I do. But what does that have to do with anything?

Laverne: Did you have time to make it this morning?

Shirley: No.

Laverne: Well... then we must have burgulars.

Shirley: Really, Laverne. Do you think burgulars come in your home and make up your bed?

Laverne and Shirley look at each other in fear and mouth the word "burgulars." They both grabbed each others arms and moved slowly to the door. A noise came from the closet and Laverne and Shirley paniced. Laverne let go of Shirley, went into the bathroom, and came out with a plunger and a bathrobe.

Shirley: This is no time for plumbing, Laverne.

Laverne: No, I'll hit the burgular on the head with the plunger and you blind him with the robe.

Shirley: Shouldn't it be the other way around?

Laverne: Just as long as we get'em.

Laverne opened the closet, got into the hitting position, and Carmine walked out of the closet.

Shirley: Carmine!

Carmine: You girls should call pest control. I heard the weirdest noises in there.

Shirley: Why are you up here?

Carmine: (thinking for a momment) Oh. I came to fix your garbage disposal and I noticed that you left your front door unlocked.

Laverne: I locked the door before I left.

Shirley: Carmine, sweetheart, why was my diary on Laverne's bed?

Carmine: (nervously) Why was your diary on Laverne's bed?

Shirley: Yes, Carmine.

Suddenly another rustle came from the closet. Laverne and Shirley held onto Carmine tight.

Shirley: Oh, Carmine, could there be burglers in our closet?

Carmine: (acting brave) Don't worry, Angel face, I'll get them. (turns to Laverne) Do you have an extra plunger?

Laverne: Just go in there.

Carmine: On the count of three. One... two... 

Laverne pushed Carmine into the closet. He put his hands all through the clothes.

Lucy: Hey, watch it!

Shirley: (gasps) There really are burglers.

Carmine: Come out of there!

Lucy came out of the closet and stood in front of them.

Carmine: (still in the closet) Anybody else in there?

Lucy: Come on out, Ethel.

Ethel: (poking her head out from behind the clothes and smiling nervously) Hello. (laughs) Uh, you're probably wondering why we're in your closet.

Laverne: The thought has crossed our minds.

Lucy: well... you... see... We're your closet maids. (they all just stood there and stared at her) well?

Carmine: I'm calling the police.

Ethel: Please, don't do that! The reason that we're in your closet is, well, Lucy wanted to know who was sitting next to Fabian at "The Brown Derby."

Laverne: You followed us home?

Ethel: No, not exactly. After you went in the powder room, Lucy wanted to go in there and see who you were, but you had already left.

Carmine: That still don't explain how you got in here.

Ethel: Well, I'm getting there. Lucy found this key on the sink in the powder room. (she takes it out of her pocket) It had your name and address on it.

Laverne: Shirl, why do you do that?

Shirley: You put your name and address on your luggage, Laverne.

Laverne: My luggage isn't going to break into our apartment, Shirl.

Shirley: I'm sorry, Laverne. I thought that someone would return them.

Laverne: And kill us too?

Lucy: Listen, we're not killers.

Laverne: Then why were you in our closet?

Lucy: Ethel already told you.

Carmine: I'm calling the police.

Lucy: (getting down on her hand and knees) Please, don't call the police. If you do, then they'll call my husband and he'll murder me! You see, my husband is Ricky Ricardo, the great orchestra leader and movie star. He's been here in Hollywood shooting a picture called "Don Juan." If any of this gets into the papers, it could ruin his chances in Hollywood.

Laverne: You say your husband will kill you, huh?

Lucy: Yes! He's a cuban and has a bad latin temper!!

Ethel: If Ricky finds out about this, then he'll send us back to New York.

Carmine: Ricky Ricardo. I've heard of him.

Lucy: (getting back on her feet) You have?!

Carmine: Yeah, in the papers..."The Peeper."

Shirley: We used to read that paper too... until we found out that it was abunch of lies.

Carmine: You must be that screwball red - head that the papers are glued to. Everytime I see the name Ricky Ricardo, your name follows the next line.

Lucy: (folding her arms) Thanks.

Laverne: Hey, shirl. Rhonda's talked about her too.

Shirley: Oh, yes, I do recall that name now. (brief pause) Is it true that you stole John Wayne's foot prints?

Lucy: Yes, but we returned them and met John Wayne in the process.

Carmine: Wow, the duke.

Laverne: Well, we met Charles Grodin. In fact, he sat in our living room.

Ethel: We've met a lot of famous people too.

Lucy: Yes, we've met, uh, Harpo Marx, Van Johnson, Bob Hope, Richard Widmark, Orsen Wells... I can't remember anyone else.

Ethel: Don't forget William Holden.

Lucy: Oh, yeah. Don't remind me.

Carmine: Why, what's the matter?

Lucy: Long story.

Laverne: Why don't you tell us about it.

Shirley: Yeah, and then I can tell you the story of how Boo Boo Kitty got his name.

Laverne: Shirl, not again. I've heard that story a thousand times. In fact, I was there when it happened.

Carmine: Well?

Lucy and Ethel told them the story about William Holden and how he was at "The Brown Dreby." She told about the embarassing momment when their eyes first met after Lucy had been staring at him. Then continued on with the incident involving him and a salad landing on his head.

Ethel: ...and that's when Lucy put on that clay nose so he wouldn't recognize her. Oh, and that purse! (laughing) 

Lucy: I put it on my head. It all went so well till he gave me a cigerette.

Laverne: what happened?

Ethel: Well, he went to go light it and... (laughs uncontrolably) You tell it, Lucy.

Lucy: Let's just say that clay isn't fire proof.

Laverne: You mean, your nose? (laughs)

Lucy: Well, that was the end of it. That's story's been passed around so much in Hollywood, I've become a household name.

Shirley: Well. I guess I'll tell you the story of how Boo Boo Kitty got his name.

Laverne: Uh, Shirl, we've got dinner with Fabian in 4 hours.

Shirley: Holy smokes, you're right!! We've got shopping to do! Um, nice to have met you. (shakes their hands) Drop in again sometime.

Lucy: You're not going to call the police, are you?

Laverne: Nah, you seem like nice people.

Lucy: One question before you go.

Laverne: What?

Lucy: How do you get those "L's"on your clothes?

Laverne: Well, I sow them on. (brief pause) Do you want me to sow one on for you?

Lucy: Please. (to Ethel) Ricky will never believe this.

Laverne: It will only take a minute, shirl.

Lavene let Lucy change into one of her shirts while she sowed an "L" on Lucy's shirt.

Laverne: (continuing to sow) So, you're from New York, huh?

Lucy: Yeah.

Laverne: Which part?

Lucy: The east side of New York City.

Laverne: In a deluxe apartment?

Lucy: In the sky.

Laverne: I'm from New York too. I grew up in Brooklyn. (stops sowing) Well, I'm done. You have an "L."

Lucy: I'll take it home as a sovenier. A "Laverne" original. (brief pause) Boy, Carolyn Applebee will be so jealous.

Laverne: Who's that?

Lucy: She's the eyes, ears, and mouth of New York.

Laverne: Oh, like Big Rosie Greenbaum from Milwaukee.

Lucy: There's one in every crowd. (brief pause) Well, thanks a lot. I better be getting back to the hotel.

Laverne: How long are you here?

Lucy: Two more weeks.

Laverne: Stop by sometime before you leave.

Lucy: we will, thanks.

Laverne: And bring Ricky, okay?

Lucy: Okay, bye.

Ethel: Goodbye, Laverne and Shirley.

Shirley: Goodbye, Lucy and Ethel.

And that's how Laverne and Shirley met Lucy and Ethel. Fabian came by later that evening and had dinner with the girls. He left early because Lenny and Squiggy dropped by and complained about not having anymore peanut butter and jelly, mustard, mayonnaise, or ketchup to make a combined sandwich which made Fabian sick. That made Laverne and Shirley angry and Lenny and Squiggy dead meat. The rest is TV LAND history.

THE END


End file.
